give my all
by EmbraceLove
Summary: Dean and Seth have been arguing a lot lately. Seth's tired of it all; Dean thinks Seth is just tired of him. Ambrollins, angst.


_Based on a tumblr pr__ompt request. The prompt: "It's all my fault!" For Synnerxx, the Dean to my Seth._

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Seth is silent as he grabs his duffel bag, which is crammed full of as much of his clothes as Seth could manage, and heads for the front door. For the majority of the day, he and Dean have been arguing. This is nothing new for them; they butt heads a lot, given that they are so alike and different at the same time, but as of late, the arguments have been more and more frequent, and more and more vicious. It almost seems like Dean is purposely trying to pick fights with him, and Seth just doesn't have the energy to continue fighting.

He's already called Roman and explained that he needs a place to stay for the night. Seth didn't go into the details of his blowup with Dean, and Roman thankfully didn't ask. He's ready to just forget about the entire day—thanks to the incessant arguing, Seth can feel the beginnings of a migraine.

His fingers curl around the doorknob, and he's in the process of turning it when Dean's voice, so soft he can barely hear, stops him.

"Seth? Where are you going?"

"Out," Seth replies, without even turning around. "I'll be back later."

Dean doesn't say anything in response. Seth thinks that maybe Dean has left the room, and so he opens the door, but he's barely even got one foot out of the door before Dean speaks again.

"Yeah, I knew this was going to happen eventually."

Seth turns on his heel and shuts the door. It's only now that he's looking at Dean that he notices Dean's eyes are red. Seth doesn't recall Dean crying while they were arguing, and despite everything that's happened, he feels his heart drop into his stomach a little. He never meant to make Dean cry.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Dean barely shrugs.

"Means I knew that you'd get tired of me."

Seth is taken aback by the statement. He's _not _tired of Dean. He's tired of arguing, of saying things that he knows will hurt Dean. Seth's only looking to get away for the night. He thinks that it will do him and Dean a world of good if they just stay away from each other for the night.

"I'm not tired of you, Dean," Seth says, his tone equal parts frustration and fatigue. "I'm not leaving for good. It's just for tonight, okay? We both said things we didn't mean." Seth shifts his bag onto his other shoulder. "I'll be back in the morning."

"No, you won't," Dean mumbles under his breath, just barely loud enough to Seth to hear. He sighs again and shakes his head as he massages his temple with two fingers.

"Dean—"he's barely able to get the word out before Dean cuts him off, his voice shrill and angry, but not at Seth. He's angry at himself.

"It's all my fault!"

And instantly Seth understands why Dean doesn't want him to go. He really believes that once Seth walks out the door, he won't be back. Seth feels like the biggest idiot in the world right now, because he knows Dean had abandonment issues. He's well aware of Dean's past, and right now, he's contributing to it. He has effectively opened the wounds he worked so hard to heal for Dean, and there's nothing he can say to make it better. Sorry doesn't seem like enough.

"Hey," Seth drops the bag and crosses the room to where Dean is standing, hunched over, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans, his eyes refusing to meet Seth's. "I'm not going anywhere, all right?" He tries to pull Dean into a hug, but Dean just stands there, stiff and unreceptive.

"I promise," Seth whispers. He begins to rub soft circles into Dean's back, and almost instantly, Dean's walls crumble, and he clings to Seth, almost desperately. His shoulders begin to shake, and Seth curses himself for making Dean cry.

"You can be mad at me," Dean manages to get out between sobs; "you can yell at me, hell, you can even tell me you hate me. But don't leave. Don't—"his voice cuts out instantly as tears begin to wrack his body once more. Seth just stands there, holding Dean, whispering reassuring words and promises in Dean's ear. Once Dean seems to have regained his composure, Seth pulls away so that he can look at Dean.

"Look, we're going to argue. We're going to fight; it's the nature of the beast. But I'm not going anywhere, Dean. Not now, not ever. Okay?" He tilts Dean's chin up. "I mean that."

Dean sighs a little as he wraps his arms around Seth's waist again.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Seth almost laughs at this. He kisses Dean's forehead tenderly and replies,

"I'm not."


End file.
